Sunday, March 25, 2012

Folder of Dreams

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. 
~Nelson Mandela

The place I want to visit!
I am a dreamer. I cannot control those that I have while I sleep but daydreams- that we have while we are awake are the ones that keep me engaged. These comprise of all the yearnings that are held deep inside me.

Fortunately, many of these are the things can be acquired at some point or the other- at least I would like to believe so. Even in my day dreams I am pragmatic enough to limit my fantasies for something which is possible and that too in the near future. This explains why I never figured out a suitable answer to the common interview question about ‘long term plans’ and just too many things to say when they ask me about a ‘short term goal’. My wishes likewise have almost never been too naïve (other than wanting to become an actress! )

Under the Tuscan sun
Being an overtly organized person, it won’t come as a surprise that I have always tried to organize my reverie and dropped in on them, from time to time. As far as I can remember, there has never been a time when I didn’t have those diaries and personal drawers/boxes where I locked away my little secrets. These were letters, poems, magazine cuttings, or pictures that kind of inspired me. I collected pictures of things I wanted, places I wanted to go to, the way I wanted to look, the things I wanted to wear etc. I particularly remember the picture of a lady who sat reading on a wooden bridge, overlooking a small pond, surrounded by psychedelic green trees and tall grasses, as the sun shone brightly over her shoulder. How I longed to exchange places with her!

Carrie's Hotel in Paris
Eventually, my diary was replaced by my laptop which faithfully chronicled my life and the accompanying wishes. I have this ‘dream folder’ where I document pictures or ideas for vacation, ideas for my dream house or that dress that I am going to get stitched when I get a chance. I have a collection of recipes, experiences, poems, quotes, all organized in respective folders/documents. I don’t delete anything from these folders because they remind me of some moment in time, when it mattered. Since I have constantly relocated from one place to another and changed so many residences, the multitude of jpeg(s) of interior decoration ideas or furniture give me hope that someday, I’ll have a home of my own from where I’ll never have to leave (hopefully for the best) , and to which I can always return to. While planning the decoration for my dream house is my favorite, there are others like planning my shopping-I collect pictures of the looks or trends that I find appealing and plan what I am going to purchase next.

Conceiving my ‘dream folder’ and revisiting the perpetual assortment of things that have touched my life, fill me with unrivaled enthusiasm. The faith that these imaginings will come true, give me the strength to go on and daydream a little more.
Sweet dreams!!